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Horror Sequels Part I: Terrible Sequels I’ve Seen

When I originally thought of this post series, I had intended on writing a “Top 5 Terrible Horror Movie Sequels” to discuss some of the awful sequels that have come out. As I tried to write my list, I realized that I actually haven’t watched as many bad sequels as I thought. It’s not that I haven’t watched sequels or watched about a million horror movies both good and hilariously bad, but I realized that the problem was that I pretty much refuse to watch shitty sequels to horror movies that shouldn’t have had a second (or third, or thirteenth) movie in the first place.

In the end, I decided that I would keep the lists short by giving three of each instead, and do it in a three-part series, which I’ll release once a week for the next three weeks. Imagine it as my “The Good, the Bad, and the Really Freaking Ugly” list. For Part I, I’ll talk about the “bad.”

After discovering that I’ve watched very few sequels due to straight up refusing to watch them, I had very few to choose from for my list. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen my share of sequels that fall into the “meh” range (I Know What You Did Last Summer and a few of the decent Halloween sequels, for example), but the following are three with enough substance to talk about. So, here are three terrible sequels I’ve seen.

 

jasonxJason X

Do I really need to say more? I mean… TEN movies? The first two: okay, I get it, and they weren’t that bad. But really, anything after that was just too stupid. Let’s think about this: Jason… IN SPACE. I can’t even imagine how this went down during the conception and writing stage, and I definitely can’t think of anyone who would think this was a good idea. I often wonder what was going through the minds of these sequel writers. Did the guys purposely do the stupidest thing they could think of? Or were they actually serious here? (It should be noted that there were a lot of dumb sequels coming out at this time, so maybe it was just a phase in the horror genre?)

 

 

poltergeist-2-the-other-side-movie-poster-1986-1020209532Poltergeist II

Even though this one could have been way worse, it was an extreme disappointment of a sequel to an awesome first movie. Maybe we all had high hopes and they were just dashed at every turn. While the movie has a really creepy old guy leering at a little girl all the time—and let’s face it, that IS creepy—it still doesn’t make for a good movie. Let’s put it this way, I fail to see the horror in swallowing a possessed worm from a tequila bottle and then, in turn, becoming possessed. Well, I do see the horror in its absurdity. Otherwise, it’s just too ridiculous.

 

 

 

tremors-3-back-to-perfection-movie-poster-2001-1020552218Tremors 3: Back to Perfection

Just look at that Photoshop job. Ah, gotta love that crap. Okay, before you start laughing so hard you can’t continue reading, let me at least mention this one. While the original Tremors wasn’t exactly the greatest horror movie ever, it still had its merits. I like B horror movies and spent most of my childhood (and adulthood!) watching them with my dad and sister, but Tremors III isn’t even close to a B movie. I don’t know if it was the loss of Kevin Bacon (after 1) and then Fred Ward (after 2) that made it go awry, but I just can’t enjoy an alleged horror movie with butt-blasting monsters who fart explosives in order to fly. As if that isn’t bad enough, the humans spend the rest of the film (which is most of it) referring to them as “Assblasters.” I’m sorry, but no. Just no. Don’t get me wrong, if I’m having a crappy horror movie marathon, I might watch this one (or if it’s a Tremors marathon), but otherwise… no.

 

There are, of course, some others that are worth mentioning that, for whatever reason, I have seen: Bride of Chucky, Halloween 2, and Nightmare on Elm Street 2. Man, I really had to rack my brain for some of these. Just like I can predict the “twist” in a movie about five minutes in (I’m talking about you, The Unborn), I can tell when a sequel is not worth my time. In the next installment, I’ll talk about sequels so terrible I refused to watch them.

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Five Netflix Movies Perfect for Halloween

As everyone is gearing up for the most haunted holiday of the year, I thought it would be fun to talk about some movies that are readily available on Netflix. Most, if not all, of these movies aren’t big name films and most people have probably never heard of them. If you are looking for some great Netflix movies perfect for Halloween, then I would recommend any of these. I will, however, add a disclaimer that some of them are B horror movies, while others might seem like they were done by a group of college students. Low budget doesn’t mean the movie doesn’t have a cool story or some interesting ideas/elements. So, I’m picking these ones because they are the ones that people might not think to watch, but their uniqueness is what makes them so awesome.

 

OccupantThe Occupant – This movie reminded me a lot of the Silent Hill 4 video game. This young man won’t leave his apartment, but continually more weird and disturbing things happening. It’s very difficult to tell whether there is something evil in the apartment or if it’s just the guy losing his mind. The Occupant isn’t a fast-paced gorefest or anything, but it takes its time building the mania. I consider this one a Netflix gem even though it’s not perfect.

thePossessionOfDavidOreillyThe Possession of David O’Reilly – Okay, so this movie is a bit weird. From the first time we see the demon, the the end when all hell breaks loose, this is a strange and ambiguous concept. (You’ll notice ambiguity is my favorite horror motif.) These three friends are being tormented by a foul demon that only one of the characters can see. It’s basically about them trying to survive this thing that thrives in the darkness, but their only defense is a guy who is increasingly becoming a liability.

theSignalThe Signal – This is a strange movie that has a slightly different twist on the concept of zombie. People become violent and crazy, they murder each other, and it’s insane, but this isn’t about the walking dead or anything. Basically, the main girl is cheating on her husband with this guy who ends up being the hero. We can see the husband is a total ass, and even though the two lead characters are flawed, the guy goes to incredible lengths to find and rescue the girl. Think Shawn of the Dead meets Stephen King’s Cell. It’s this bizarre movie, but you spend the entire time hoping this guy reaches the girl.

theWardThe Ward – Now, this one isn’t exactly horror in the traditional, Halloween sense, but it’s an interesting movie nonetheless. The Ward has this strangeness to it, and by the end, it makes you go, “Say whaaaat?” Basically, this girl is in a psych ward because she burned down a house. While there, she meets other girls with mental problems while being haunted by a ghost. Eventually, the girls start disappearing. I really love John Carpenter movies, and this one is no exception. It also has a pretty epic ending, but I don’t want to spoil it!

TheTravelerDVDThe Traveler – I know this one is a lot more widely known than most of the others I’ve listed, but I thought I would mention it. Val Kilmer is pretty cool in this even if he’s looking a rough lately. So, Val Kilmer turns himself in to the police, claiming he is a murder… but the murders haven’t happened yet. And yet, while he is locked up, the victims begin to die in the exact manner in which he claims. It’s a pretty cool movie, but it’s a bit predictable.

 

Really, I wanted to put From Within on this list, but sadly, it disappeared from Netflix instant within a day or so of my typing this entry. I was very sad about this. Of course, there are some others that are fun to watch, but are really terrible (in a good way!). For example, Chain Letter. This movie is hilariously bad, but the ending is pretty epic.

At any rate, that is my list! Please let me know what you think if you watch any of them or if you’ve already seen any of them. Also, if you haven’t signed up for the Week of Creep giveaway, yet, then please make sure you do it before Thursday!

 

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